Grave Gamer News & Views — wii u

Greetings and hello’s, friendly gaming readers not phased by this block of text.  Welcome to a very special morning edition of the Roundup.  Once again, the Roundup serves as a gathering of news and happenings that The Red Herb missed out on because I’m a terrible human being.  And boy howdy, did I miss out on a lot of shit.  After a slew of conferences Monday, the E3 show floors filled with attendees yesterday – most united under the pen of journalism –  ready to get their mitts on the hottest upcoming games and the newest innovations in video game technology.

Me?  I was at work.  The Herb’s not exactly what’d you call a “paying gig,” so I had to while away the hours not streaming E3 goodness directly into my brain.  Because of my plight, I wasn’t able to cobble words in real-time and throw them at all the awesome, stupid, and stupidly awesome things we saw yesterday.  But don’t think I’d let that bastard news get away from me.  I may be late to it, but I’d sooner die face down, naked in a ditch than let these announcements go another second without me being mildly sarcastic about them.

I’ll have to be brief; my assholey-ness bitterly succinct.  Here goes – welcome to our first ever E3 Roundup ™.

“Create Something Unique” – Does the Wii U Live Up to Nintendo’s Mantra?

If you didn’t catch the Nintendo Direct live feed of the company’s pre-E3 conference, you’re a click away from not being able to say that.  Unlike similar pre-conferences of this ilk, Nintendo decided to stow all of its software announcements for the actual expo this week.  Instead, Satoru Iwata (commander in chief at Nintendo) decided to give us a full on presentation of their latest buzzed about hardware, the Wii U (ayuh, they stuck with the name).

Like any publicly displayed conference, some parts impressed, some were intriguing, and, of course, some things got fucking weird (“Call me Grandpa!”).  If a detailed analysis of the conference is what you crave, you can find an excellently crafted one hereabouts.  If, however, you’re searching for briefer initial impressions of a considerably lower quality, stick around, partner.

Highlights:

• The Wii U’s controller – now dubbed the GamePad – serves as a veritable gaming Swiss army knife.  A bevy of functions are worked into the design including a built-in universal remote, the ability to web browse, and backwards compatibility with the first Wii’s host of wands and nunchuks.
• Alternatively, Iwata introduced a Pro Controller that makes up for its shocking lack of innovation through its accessibility and familiarity.  An enticing buy if your optimal level of gaming doesn’t come from using a plastic iPad.
• A new bid at on-the-fly social networking was also touched upon, which Iwata referred to as the Miiverse.  In and out of game communication (as well as hand drawn messaging) has evolved to feature cross-platform interaction and competition.  Sure, the company is essentially playing catch-up with the likes of Xbox Live and PSN, but its served in a distinctive Nintendo flavor (with plans for expansion and improvement.)

Lowlights:

• The option of a Pro Controller is a nice touch (not the additional cost part, mind you) but its very existence both serves as an all too obvious draw-in for the “hardcore” crowd as well as a sign that Nintendo’s aware right out of the gate that players may find the GamePad too cumbersome to use with certain titles…
• …Which brings me to a bigger concern: third-party developers under-utilizing the tablet.  A current example would be the DS and 3DS; first-party titles use the touchscreen and 3D functionality stupendously while on the flip side, there’s a trend where devs relegate the second screen to menu and map management.  I see this happening to the Wii U especially with ports.
• No official mention of cost was brought up.  I understand Nintendo wants the system’s laurels to be the deciding factor and not the price point, but I still prefer companies to be upfront with me when trying to earn a sale.
• I hope “Non-Specific Action Figure” and his awkward, over-emotional owner are the last inadvertent horrors to be spawned through Wii U marketing.  My heart, unfortunately, tells me this is just the tip of the iceberg.

More Wii U announcements, including software reveals, are coming at you this week during E3 and The Red Herb will be right here for you, in the midst of it (from afar), covering the action with a pile of words.

Wii U’s New Fangled Controller Gets a Little More New Fangled

Hmm, look at this number.  There’s some slight shifting of buttons administered for the sake of comfort, but the best and most obvious improvement is the addition of analog sticks in favor of those bullshitty slider-nubs from the original design and currently tainting the 3DS.  I still don’t see how fighting games can be pulled off with ease (sorry, touch screen controls can’t silence my concerns) but overall, I’m interested in seeing what this puppy can do, and whether or not if it’s as indestructible as Nintendo products of yore.

I’d cross the Wii U off as a necessity if the company had Reggie Fils-Aime take the stage at E3, start a doodle of Mario on the tablet, stop, back a pickup truck over it a few times (four is a safe number – seven if you’re going for the “wow”), pick up the unharmed controller, and finish his drawing, signing it “Whazzup bitches?”

I’m a simple man with simple wants.

Are These the Wii U’s Unannounced Launch Titles?

Collected on GoNintendo, these shots are supposedly taken from within Blockbuster UK and display 25 POS system listings for the Wii U’s catalog of upcoming games.  You may recognize previously outed games like Batman: Arkham City, the new Assassin’s Creed, and Rayman Legends amongst the many, but what’s really surprising is that there are still Blockbusters in the UK.

Oh, and almost as surprising, the listings depicted name several games that neither Nintendo nor any third-party have officially said are coming to the Wii U.  Titles like Just Dance 4 and Marvel Super Heroes (please be a sequel) could be some of the names publishers will be showing off at E3 for Nintendo’s big, huge Wii U presentation.  Or the listings are a sham, ripping the prospect of another Just Dance game away from our lives, leaving us no more than purposeless husks.

Despite somehow making the 3DS desirable after a despicable launch, Nintendo’s profits continue to take a nosedive.  The company’s investors began to sweat profusely over sales projections, then contort their faces into a frown unique only to individuals that wear suits the same price as cars.  What was the Big N’s president, Satoru Iwata, to do?  Launch every Wii U.  Everywhere. 

By the holidays, Iwata fully intends the Wii U to ship to all major territories across the globe, equipped with a firm lineup of software to ensure past snafus never rear their head again.  “We have learned a bitter lesson from the launch of the Nintendo 3DS,” says the company’s president, presumably while stubbing a cigarette out on the handheld.