Horror Goes Handheld in the Resident Evil: Revelations Launch...

Horror Goes Handheld in the Resident Evil: Revelations Launch Trailer

Are you not in possession of a Nintendo 3DS?  This launch day trailer isn’t liable to make you feel any better about that.  It also won’t help knowing a lot of fans are saying Revelations runs circles around RE4 and 5.

Be proactive about it, though!  Trade some crap in.  You’ve barely touched that PS3 in your living room for nigh on twelve hours now.  It’s probably caked in dust and on its last limb from such a heavy amount of disuse.  I don’t see you regretting trading that for a handheld marketed towards children.

You’re holding out for Capcom to port Revelations?  W-what d'ya mean?  That doesn’t sound like them.  I don’t think they’re big on re-releases…  Hm, what’s that?  Waiting for a 3DS remodel?  You think they’re going to integrate a second analog stick, making the Circle Pad Pro obsolete?  You must be fucking high.  Why would Nintendo launch a handheld only to have another, sleeker version come out at a later point in time?  It’s just unheard of.  Your head’s full of conspiracies, bro.

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